New Experience
Its about midnight and I’m sitting near the front desk, talking with the EMT working triage. A door slams, and a security officer asks”Where did he go?” and the takes off running towards the main part of the hospital. Since this officer didn’t have any backup with him, I ran along to make sure things were okay. As we approach the hospital lobby Starbucks, I catch a glimpse of a naked butt just turning the corner towards the main hospital entrance. “That way!” I yell to the officer, and take off after the guy. I know who we’re pursuing. He was a psychiatric patient. This patient has run from his room, in only an untied hospital gown, and is making a dash for freedom. He barrels out the main entrance, I’m close behind him, and the officer is well behind me. I run, puffing and swearing past a few groups of people leaving the hospital, as I follow him towards the main parking garage. I slow down at this point, thinking that there aren’t a lot of places he can get to from the garage and soon the rest of our security force will be here soon to help escort this guy back to his room. He sees me following him, ditches his hospital gown and heads for the far wall of the garage. The far wall that is a full five stories from the ground below. Naked. I’m chasing a naked man across a parking structure towards a five story drop. (What’s tackling etiquette on a naked guy?) He gets to the far wall and starts to climb over. “NO!! No, dude, you don’t want to do that! No!” I don’t know how bad it would be if he fell or jumped off that wall, but my guess is fatal if he’s lucky. I speed up hoping I can get to him before he splats in the back parking lot of the nearby Children’s Hospital. He looks down, thinks better of it, and pushes off the interior wall towards the parking terrace. He falls, I get to him, and wait for the people with handcuffs. Running someone down makes you feel like a hero. Running down a naked man makes you feel somewhat less heroic…